Patience is a virtue every lover must strive to develop in his character. However, some lovers find it difficult to develop this virtue or feel they should be doing more to become more patient in a relationship so that they can be better lovers.
Such people ask, “How do I become more patient in my relationship?”
So, what can you do to become a more patient person? Let us look at 13 steps you can follow to become more patient when your partner or spouse provokes or annoys you.
9 Smart Ways to Become More Patient in a Relationship
When you learn to become more patient in a relationship, you will be able to resolve conflicts better in your relationship. As a result, you will increase the chances that your relationship will work.
Try to See Your Partner’s Point of View
Remind yourself often that your partner was brought up differently from the way you were brought up and so sees life differently from the way you see life. Additionally, remind yourself often that your experiences in life are not the same as those of your lover or spouse.
Doing this will help you to understand him or her better. Consequently, you will be able to feel for him or her. This will help you to control yourself better, when you face irritating and annoying situations.
Lower Your Expectations
When you expect too much from your partner, you can get easily upset when he does something which you feel falls below your expectation.
For example, if you expect that because your partner is our lover he has to kiss or hug you every day or every week and he does not do this, you may get irritated with him.
If you expect your spouse to treat you with respect always, you can get disappointed and that disappointment can make you become impatient with your partner.
However, when you don’t expect a kiss or show of affection every day or every other day, and when you remind yourself often that your partner can become uncommunicative, inconsiderate, or can even fall out of love with you, you will take life as it comes and not get irritated with your partner when he or she acts contrary to what you expect.
When you accept the fact that your expectation does not necessarily have to be met for you to feel loved and to be happy, you will be less anxious and irritable, and more relaxed.
Remind Yourself That You Will Only Make Things Worse if You Become Impatient
Think about times in your present relationship, or in past relationships, when you reacted impatiently and which led to a worsening of the situation.
- Write down 10 irritating situations which caused you to become impatient in the past.
- Write down what you did in those situations.
- Write down how those situations got worse or how those situations cost you.
- Reflect on the results of your impatience and how miserable it made you feel.
- Type it and print it. Keep it with you and take it wherever you go so that you can read it or read it every morning in your bedroom. so that you can make up your mind to react with patience when your partner annoys you.
Because you do not want to suffer the fate you suffered in the past or because you do not want to feel how badly you felt in the past when you were impatient, you will make up your mind to react in a calm and think of ways you can solve problems in a spirit of self-control.
Remind Yourself That You Love Your Partner
In 1 Corinthians 13v4 of the Bible, it is written, “Love is patient and kind.” When you decide to be patient, it is another way of showing your love for your partner or your spouse.
Therefore, when your partner provokes you and you feel tempted to say or do something negative in the heat of the moment, say something such as this to yourself, “I claim to love Isaac. Yes, I love Isaac. That is why he is my boyfriend (or that is why he is my husband). Love is patient. If I really love Isaac, then I must be patient. By being patient, I would be showing true love to Isaac. Alright, I will not let what he said to me, or what he did to me, get to me. I will conquer his rude behavior with love.”
Learn to Accept Uncomfortable Situations
We sometimes become impatient because we do not like to feel uncomfortable. We want things to work our way always and when they don’t, we become impatient with our lover or spouse.
So, build your capacity to accept uncomfortable situations. Remind yourself often of people in your community or town who are living uncomfortable lives, such as the homeless or orphans. Find time sometimes and visit some of them and learn about their experiences.
That activity will make you appreciate all your blessings. It will make you think that “Well, I am far better off than some. I have so many things that others lack. I really do not need to get impatient just because Isaac cannot spend a few minutes with me or because he could not honor his promise to take me on a date.” It will help you to learn to adjust to uncomfortable situations and to cope with change because you will feel that it is not such a big deal.
Practice Patience Often
Learn to show patience towards your partner every day by practicing how to be patient.
Refrain from watching an episode of your favorite soap opera you have been looking forward to watching for a week.
Do not watch the game between Accra Great Olympics and Accra Hearts of Oak you have been dreaming about for a whole month.
These experiences will help to make it easier to endure disappointing circumstances and they will help to make you more patient.
Learn to Wait When Your Lover Promises You Something
One area where you can show impatience in your relationship is when your lover or spouse promises to buy something for you but delays in delivering that promise. It can make some lovers get angry with their partners, and this leads to fights.
However, a study conducted at the University of Chicago Business School has shown that when a person waits for something, it can make him or she become more patient.
Therefore, when your partner is delaying in fulfilling that promise he or she made to you, just wait.
What are some of the ways in which you can learn to wait?
- Remind yourself that waiting can be frustrating. So, say something such as this to yourself often, “I know I am not in control of this situation. I cannot control everything in life. I may feel frustrated at times but I will accept it.” This will help you to remain calm and collected.
- Take your mind off the promise completely. Think about other things. When thoughts about the promise come into your mind, think about the promises your partner has fulfilled in the past. Then say something such as, “Isaac has delivered on his promises in the past. There is no reason why he will fail me this time. The car I want from him will surely come.” Then turn your mind to something else or focus on what you are doing at that moment.
- Refrain from reminding your partner of his promise. Just trust him or her.
- Fear that your partner may not fulfill his promise, in the end, can make you anxious and that can make it difficult to wait. Therefore, think positive thoughts. When you are positive, you will find it easier to be patient.
God is the Most Patient Being alive. He does not kill us immediately we sin against him, but gives us a chance to repent and learn from our mistakes.
He continues to make the sunshine on people who talk against Him and despise Him.
He continues to make the rainfall on people who disobey His commandments every day. He is an expert when it comes to being more patient and He can help you to control yourself when you are annoyed.
To become more patient, you must count the cost of impatience, contemplate on the benefits of being patient, choose to act like a mature person, as well as try to understand and imitate patient people.
Originally published at hubpages.com.